close
Not sure if I am depressed because I am reading a depressing book or reading the book depressed me. When he said that he wished he was dead, I kind of have the same feeling, not that I really mean it.
Tuesday is pretty bad as last week and I don't know why. I just felt like crying the whole time and I did when I was in the evening class where we had two teachers but only two students. I just got so depressed suddenly and I kind of felt like skipping the class because I just couldn't get myself together to sit there but finally, I calmed myself down.
After class my classmate told me that she needed to interview her for her assignments then told me that she's really worried about those assignments. I told to her and tried to cheer her up and gave her some suggestions. Well, I should say that to myself but I know it won't work anyway because if I want to do that, I don't need anyone to say it to me but if I don't feel like doing it then there's no use even if everyone tells me so.
Then I went swimming after the class but it's quite frustrating. I just couldn't swim well anymore for some unknown reason so I went to the recreation lane. It was okay at first but then two guys came to play ball so I couldn't really swim the whole lap, which was really annoying so eventually I gave up after only stayed in the pool for 15 or 20 minutes. In the shower, I had the feeling that I was going to faint so I decided that I will not be on a diet until I finished my assignments in a month time. Just not the right time to be on a diet, I think.
What's even worse is that I had instant noodles for dinner after coming back from swimming. It's not about eating but about what I eat. I know too well why I am depressed. I prescribed myself the new medication: good food, good sleep, good exercise and good talk. I am not following my prescription at the moment. For the weekend I did not have enough exercise and ate a lot of junk food. Not only I did not sleep well, but also I drank. It does not sound like a big deal but all of those really ruined the chemicals balance in my brain and now I cannot even think well.
It sounds a bit ridiculous but I have a book called Natural Prozac to back me up and I truly believe what it says because it simply works on me so well. Now here comes the problem, if I know I can feel fine by doing that, why didn't I do that? Well, everyone is like this, it's not just me. Now I am so confused again that I don't even know what I am talking about.
Last thing, well and the most depressing thing for today is that I cannot find someone to have a good talk. Sad but true. Good talk is like a good relationship. A lot of time it's not something you can find if you look hard enough. Sometimes it just happens but other time it doesn't matter how hard you try, you just don't get it. Does this sound stupid?
Still feel like crying and not sure what I should do. I have an assignment due on Thursday and I am only half way through but I am in no mood to do it at the moment. I'll probably go back to the book and see how depressing it can get. If I don't remember wrong, I think the boy committed suicide in the end. Well, would have done that long time ago if that's the answer of all my problems. I am really depressed today. So depressed that I think I should go back to my psychiatrist.
Tuesday is pretty bad as last week and I don't know why. I just felt like crying the whole time and I did when I was in the evening class where we had two teachers but only two students. I just got so depressed suddenly and I kind of felt like skipping the class because I just couldn't get myself together to sit there but finally, I calmed myself down.
After class my classmate told me that she needed to interview her for her assignments then told me that she's really worried about those assignments. I told to her and tried to cheer her up and gave her some suggestions. Well, I should say that to myself but I know it won't work anyway because if I want to do that, I don't need anyone to say it to me but if I don't feel like doing it then there's no use even if everyone tells me so.
Then I went swimming after the class but it's quite frustrating. I just couldn't swim well anymore for some unknown reason so I went to the recreation lane. It was okay at first but then two guys came to play ball so I couldn't really swim the whole lap, which was really annoying so eventually I gave up after only stayed in the pool for 15 or 20 minutes. In the shower, I had the feeling that I was going to faint so I decided that I will not be on a diet until I finished my assignments in a month time. Just not the right time to be on a diet, I think.
What's even worse is that I had instant noodles for dinner after coming back from swimming. It's not about eating but about what I eat. I know too well why I am depressed. I prescribed myself the new medication: good food, good sleep, good exercise and good talk. I am not following my prescription at the moment. For the weekend I did not have enough exercise and ate a lot of junk food. Not only I did not sleep well, but also I drank. It does not sound like a big deal but all of those really ruined the chemicals balance in my brain and now I cannot even think well.
It sounds a bit ridiculous but I have a book called Natural Prozac to back me up and I truly believe what it says because it simply works on me so well. Now here comes the problem, if I know I can feel fine by doing that, why didn't I do that? Well, everyone is like this, it's not just me. Now I am so confused again that I don't even know what I am talking about.
Last thing, well and the most depressing thing for today is that I cannot find someone to have a good talk. Sad but true. Good talk is like a good relationship. A lot of time it's not something you can find if you look hard enough. Sometimes it just happens but other time it doesn't matter how hard you try, you just don't get it. Does this sound stupid?
Still feel like crying and not sure what I should do. I have an assignment due on Thursday and I am only half way through but I am in no mood to do it at the moment. I'll probably go back to the book and see how depressing it can get. If I don't remember wrong, I think the boy committed suicide in the end. Well, would have done that long time ago if that's the answer of all my problems. I am really depressed today. So depressed that I think I should go back to my psychiatrist.
全站熱搜
留言列表
