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It's Sunday afternoon.
I have two final exams coming tomorrow and the day after but I am still not in a mood to study.
I don't want to take medicine but I feel I have to, for my own good.
On the one hand, I told myself that I would be better off without medication because that's the real me even if I have to be sad and sensitive.
On the other hand, I knew too well that my life might become miserable and chaotic again if I stopped the medicine.
Studying isn't such a big problem now.
Everyone told me that my deaprtment never fails students. I hope I won't be the first one.
I don't know why I am not nervous about the exam at all. I am not worried.
To be honest, I don't really care.
It's not me. That's why I don't like about the medicine, I guess.
I think I should be wroking very hard and getting very nervous about the exams. I would be trying very hard to pass, not that I have to get a good grade.
However, I have been very very lazy:slept in until noon, watched a lot of TV, doing nothing, daydreaming, surfing on the internet.
I don't understand myself at all now.
Is this my personality, like I said earler: i am just a lazy pig or is this because of the medication?
I'm a bit confused. I don't think this is good because I am not sure what I am doing and why I am doing all this.
It's anther confusing situation.
It seems like I am normal and feel alright but I think there's something wrong with me.
Maybe it's just becuase of what the doctor said: I am not used to feel happy?
Don't think so.
a bit frustrating but know i will be fine. get back to study!
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