Lin Jessie的部落格

 

Another rainy, gloomy day in Taipei, as depressing as it could be for the past couple days. Just took out my winter clothes and realized why most of them are old, out of fashion and I didn't buy many new winter clothes: I was always depressed in winter and didn't have much energy to dress up myself. What a lousy excuse!

 

Going to Australia for my master degree and will be leaving in 57 days. It's kind of scary and I haven't really felt excited at all. Paid for the school and booked my flight ticket last week, now I am waiting for the student visa then I will have to find accommodation then I am ready to go. Two more weeks I will finish my classes at Kojen and I am officially out of job. AHHH, I want to scream.

 

A tour bus with some elementary PTA members, some students plus a tour guide on  hit the pole and fell down a hill in Tainan this afternoon. It killed 20 and 24 were seriously hurt and the cause was still unknown. According to the news, it might be because the break didn't work. My father, who was a bus driver for over 25 years, claimed that there's a very small chance that the break is broken. In most of the traffic accidents, that's what the drivers' excuse. As an experienced driver, my father started to talk about his opinions about how people drive carelessly and how one should drive when going down a hill. It's life. We all know how to do something, perhaps like Socrates said long time ago that those things are all inside but we just forgot. Either we forget about it and we totally ignore it until one day the tragedy comes to us. There's no end of learning in life, I assume.

 

A not so famous writer killed herself because of her boyfriend left her. She was 38 and got divorced last year. I think everyone feels more or less like killing themselves when they end a relationship but for some people things like this will push them to the far end that they feel ending their life is the best solution. Been there though didn't do that, I think I understand how they might feel. The loneliness and desperation of no one can understand how they feel since we are all alone. Everyone was brought to this world alone and most of the time we are alone(the eight hour sleeping has to be done alone and some other things) and in the end we will die alone. Other people can only share our happiness and sadness but they will never know exactly how we feel since no one can do that except ourselves.

 

Sometimes I feel extremely lonely and want to talk to people, share my thoughts with other people. Other times I wonder what's the meaning to talk to other people who will never really know how I feel. I guess that's still a meaning and that's why I am writing here. We are all human and there are some attributes of human that most of us follow like enjoying spending time with others. However, with the fast change of modern society that more and more things we can easily do alone and the relationship between people are weaker and weaker. No one else ever feels more lonely than people live in the modern society today. First, I said to myself that if I can publish a book of how to deal with loneliness then maybe I can make a fortune(however, I am still looking for the answers myself). Then I realized right away it's not going to work simply because everyone is different. There's no one solution for everybody. All those therapist and psychiatrists can tell the patients what to do but it's only depends on the patients to save their own life if they want to be saved.

 

Quite passive thoughts today but it's good since at least I still can feel and have the energy to write and to share.