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it's 10.05. 陳昇is singing at brown sugar now. well, my heart is there with him, ha ha. i really want to go but couldn't find anyone to go with. it should be okay if i just go by myself but it just didn't work out like that. it's just another roller coaster riding day. i don't know anyone is as moody as i am.
spent a lot of time thinking last night after talking to the doc but no answers. lying in bed for hours before i fell asleep so i had no intention to get up go to yoga class as i planned. i just ignored the alarm clock then went on sleeping. however, i was woken up by my nightmare. i forgot what it was but it's probably pretty scary so i felt like getting out of bed right away. it's probably from watching csi and x file last night.
yoga class is always good. there's no exception today of course. then grandma nitti's for lunch. it's okay but i don't like the customers next to my table, very noisy and also the waitress. or perhaps she's the manager with the attitude which made me not want to stay there any longer. well, perhaps it's not them but me. bad weather, bad mood, unavoidable. so i went home. was going to stay outside all day so i even brought my lessons to prepare but i ended up going home.
it's cold today, much colder than yesterday. i didn't really notice that until later. was going to take a nap since didn't get enough sleep last night but just couldn't sleep. the bad taste in my mouth just didn't go away. something wrong. very wrong. my tears started to fall and i was overwhelmed by the sadness from every direction. i took a shower. still felt the same. i went to get my hair washed and read half of the book from haruki murakami. my effort was in vain. then i chatted with friends of the msn, called a friend. talking is always a good therapy. calm a bit after that. then whiling chatting, i noticed the weather, the coldness. so i turned on the heater, it's much better to be surrounded by warm air. slowly, i am me again. not the stranger i don't know. not feeling hungry at all though the only thing i had was the omelette. my new antidepressant is my brownies. so good. finished two pieces and felt even better. then wrote a long email to bug a friend. ha ha. finally i could smile when i was writing.
then another thing i did, i think also the key. i rewrote my note on facebook, change some wording and also added the friend back to my friend list. not sure if he will accept, probably he will. he's just a nice person. also sent him an confession email but not saying things clearly since i think he should know. feeling a bit guilty i guess. i am easily to be angry at myself and not happy with things i did. anyway, probably will end today with a sleeping pill. tomorrow is another day and i have four days' classes to prepare. good night and sweet dreams. no more nightmares!
spent a lot of time thinking last night after talking to the doc but no answers. lying in bed for hours before i fell asleep so i had no intention to get up go to yoga class as i planned. i just ignored the alarm clock then went on sleeping. however, i was woken up by my nightmare. i forgot what it was but it's probably pretty scary so i felt like getting out of bed right away. it's probably from watching csi and x file last night.
yoga class is always good. there's no exception today of course. then grandma nitti's for lunch. it's okay but i don't like the customers next to my table, very noisy and also the waitress. or perhaps she's the manager with the attitude which made me not want to stay there any longer. well, perhaps it's not them but me. bad weather, bad mood, unavoidable. so i went home. was going to stay outside all day so i even brought my lessons to prepare but i ended up going home.
it's cold today, much colder than yesterday. i didn't really notice that until later. was going to take a nap since didn't get enough sleep last night but just couldn't sleep. the bad taste in my mouth just didn't go away. something wrong. very wrong. my tears started to fall and i was overwhelmed by the sadness from every direction. i took a shower. still felt the same. i went to get my hair washed and read half of the book from haruki murakami. my effort was in vain. then i chatted with friends of the msn, called a friend. talking is always a good therapy. calm a bit after that. then whiling chatting, i noticed the weather, the coldness. so i turned on the heater, it's much better to be surrounded by warm air. slowly, i am me again. not the stranger i don't know. not feeling hungry at all though the only thing i had was the omelette. my new antidepressant is my brownies. so good. finished two pieces and felt even better. then wrote a long email to bug a friend. ha ha. finally i could smile when i was writing.
then another thing i did, i think also the key. i rewrote my note on facebook, change some wording and also added the friend back to my friend list. not sure if he will accept, probably he will. he's just a nice person. also sent him an confession email but not saying things clearly since i think he should know. feeling a bit guilty i guess. i am easily to be angry at myself and not happy with things i did. anyway, probably will end today with a sleeping pill. tomorrow is another day and i have four days' classes to prepare. good night and sweet dreams. no more nightmares!
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