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not sure how this work but i think i just passed the down period and started to climb though slowly. my danish student and his friend were out for dinner and we were supposed to have a drink together since i've known them both for over 6 months but we never got together. well, i think they were just having too much fun and totally forgot me, which is actully a good thing. i kind of feel like going out for a drink but on the other hand, it wouldn't be much fun since i have to teach tomorrow at 10.30, which isn't really bad and i went out more often when i had to teach at 9 am in gongguan and of course i always ended up taking a cab.
why am i writing in english? i don't know. maybe because i was just browsing facebook? but i am using window not mac so i can type in chinese more easily but then i don't know why suddenly i just changed my mind and typing in english. well, acutally, i was feeling a bit lazy and not really sure what i want to say. there are a few signs to show that i'm recovering. first, i can read, i mean read a book, not just some silly comic books. also, i don't really care that my student didn't call me even though he said he would, well, he didn't really say so. he just said hope to see you on friday. anyways, it doesn't matter. oh, and i'm back to facebook again! i finally feel like leaving some silly messages and agitated when i see people's messages on the net. also saw a picture of the guy i used to like with another girl. try not to judge but all i can say is that i am not going out drinknig with people who bring cameras. and i think i was lucky that the last time i went out with him, no one had a camera and no pictures were taken. well, i guess since almost everyone has a camera phone now, i have one myself too. hmm, well, i think the best way to avoid that is not to get drunk. i believe i had enough bad experience this year already and i hope i won't make the same mistakes again. my yoga teacher's favorite, or the one he used to say to me: things didn't kill you only make you stronger. i'm still alive and not sure if i'm any stronger or smarter. i guess it just takes time and bad experience until you really learn the lesson. or perhaps it's just the matter of luck?
i've six books about yoga, eq, sq, desires, emotional balance waiting for me. i guess it's good that now i finally calm myself down. yep, that's the keyword. calmness is the key. i feel fine if i'm not feeling anxious. i'm not rushing anywhere, seeing anyone. nothing really matters now. i feel like going out but it's okay if i stay home too. i am hungry but it's okay if i have food or not. life is short. nobody can give me what i really want if i don't know what i really want. it's difficult to find out what you want but it's even more difficult to make people want you. well said, wally.
should get some sleep for tomorrow's class though i feel like reading every book now. tired. got up around noon, late for class, went to the library, got home, dinner, preparing tomorrow's classes, about an hour for each class again. that's the best i can do so i don't want to worry too much. as long as i can get up and go to class and teach for 4.5 hours then it's over. i'll have three days off until next class.
hope i won't have any nightmares today! sleep well!
why am i writing in english? i don't know. maybe because i was just browsing facebook? but i am using window not mac so i can type in chinese more easily but then i don't know why suddenly i just changed my mind and typing in english. well, acutally, i was feeling a bit lazy and not really sure what i want to say. there are a few signs to show that i'm recovering. first, i can read, i mean read a book, not just some silly comic books. also, i don't really care that my student didn't call me even though he said he would, well, he didn't really say so. he just said hope to see you on friday. anyways, it doesn't matter. oh, and i'm back to facebook again! i finally feel like leaving some silly messages and agitated when i see people's messages on the net. also saw a picture of the guy i used to like with another girl. try not to judge but all i can say is that i am not going out drinknig with people who bring cameras. and i think i was lucky that the last time i went out with him, no one had a camera and no pictures were taken. well, i guess since almost everyone has a camera phone now, i have one myself too. hmm, well, i think the best way to avoid that is not to get drunk. i believe i had enough bad experience this year already and i hope i won't make the same mistakes again. my yoga teacher's favorite, or the one he used to say to me: things didn't kill you only make you stronger. i'm still alive and not sure if i'm any stronger or smarter. i guess it just takes time and bad experience until you really learn the lesson. or perhaps it's just the matter of luck?
i've six books about yoga, eq, sq, desires, emotional balance waiting for me. i guess it's good that now i finally calm myself down. yep, that's the keyword. calmness is the key. i feel fine if i'm not feeling anxious. i'm not rushing anywhere, seeing anyone. nothing really matters now. i feel like going out but it's okay if i stay home too. i am hungry but it's okay if i have food or not. life is short. nobody can give me what i really want if i don't know what i really want. it's difficult to find out what you want but it's even more difficult to make people want you. well said, wally.
should get some sleep for tomorrow's class though i feel like reading every book now. tired. got up around noon, late for class, went to the library, got home, dinner, preparing tomorrow's classes, about an hour for each class again. that's the best i can do so i don't want to worry too much. as long as i can get up and go to class and teach for 4.5 hours then it's over. i'll have three days off until next class.
hope i won't have any nightmares today! sleep well!
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