close
It's funny how we see only what we want to see. I had a few friends wrote me back and said that it's too bad that I am going home. What? Then I realized that they thought I am going home for good. In fact, I said in the end of my email that I am leaving on September 17th and coming back on September 30th. I guess I complained too much so everyone just assumed I am going home for good. Well, I guess I'll just write another email to tell people or they will figure it out when I go home anyway.
This is a busy weekend. On Friday night, I went on my blind date and we had dinner in a restaurant called summit restaurant which is located on the 47th floor of Sydney Tower and it's a rotating restaurant. It's quite nice to see the night views of Sydney and for the first time, I had a bit better understanding of where some significant spots are. The food was nice and we had a good talk but when he tried to make his move when we took a walk after dinner, it spoiled the whole night. Well, men often say that we should make friends first but they always want more.
Saturday was the open day of my university which means that students who are interested in studying at my school can come to find out more information so there are some booths set up and to attract people to come and to entertain the kids perhaps, there's a "Macquarie Express", a trackless train like you see in some amusement park to take people around. It's really funny. Too bad I didn't bring my camera. And there's Indian dance which was really nice. One thing surprised me is that they even have a camel for kids to ride on and some sheep and ducks. And people are lining up to get hot dogs and there's an ice cream car. It's really a fair. There's the ad on the newspaper too!
Today it's my classmate's house warming party and that's why last night I spent three hours to make some brownies and rosemary twist. They are really yummy and today I ate so much, started from pasta salad, coke chicken, dumplings, pineapple cake, brownies, rosemary twist, cheese and crackers, fruit and drink wine, champagne, cranberry juice, green tea, coffee, and sparkling water. I can't believe that I ate so much and drank so much in a few hours but we just chatting and eating for the whole afternoon. It's really nice and relaxing.
My classmate is Taiwanese and his flatmate is Australian so most of their guests are Australian except me and another classmate. We didn't get involved in the talk with others because basically three of us were chatting in Chinese most of the time. In fact, I really would like to talk to someone else and get to know a bit more about Australia; however, in that situation, it will be odd if I left my friends and talked to someone else. Well, I got a chance towards the end of the party when most people went home, there were only a few of us there and we started to talk about teaching, studying and politics in Australia. And I had a very interesting talk and learned a lot from talking to them, much more than what I learned from the books! I realized that I like to engage with people talking about something I am interested in, something a bit more serious and learn from the talk. When I say learn, it simply means something new, how others view the world. It's fascinating! And suddenly, it becomes crystal clear why I enjoy talking with men more than women most of the time because I like most of the topics they enjoy talking, well, except sports. And I am not interested in fashion, celebrities or gossip that much. Also, I don't make up so the talks about cosmetics really bore me. I don't mind talking gossip or non-sense but from time to time, I want to have a intellectual talk with people who I can communicate with and I found it very difficult to find in Australia. Most of my friends and classmates are from China or Taiwan and I don't find them interested in serious topics and when we do talk about things like that, most people insisted on their views and if you don't agree with them then you should be ready for an argument. Strange it is but very true. I think I understood more why I wanted to come to Australia and how it failed my expectation more. In fact, the best thing I gained from living in Australia is that I got to know myself much much better from depression because I talked to the doctors about how I feel, try to figure out what and why caused my depression. Instead of "you think too much," "don't think too much, you just have too much free time", I gained a lot of support and learn to know myself better and love myself more and have the strength to deal with things when they go wrong.
The best thing about Australia is that you have a lot of freedom to do whatever you want and a lot of space to free yourself. The experience of getting so depressed was awful but I benefited so much from it. It's actually quite nice to discover a bit of myself every day(sometime it can get quite difficult) from interacting with people or just doing things on my own.
Well, I am pretty beat now even though I still had a lot to say. Well, last thing is that when I listened to NPR's this I believe, I was so touched and that's when I asked myself what I believe and I came to the conclusion above. A woman who works in Rwanda to help those refugees talks about what qualities she wants for her newborn baby. First is honesty, no surprise. In fact, I would put that in the first place too. The second one is care for others because if a person cares for others then their friend will care for them and someone who are loved is more likely to love themselves. Very nice, right? I had never thought in that way but I totally agree what she says. But the third one is a difficult choice. And in the end she decided that is the ability to laugh at self. She said that with the first two qualities, it will reduce the chance for her child end up in jail but with the third quality, even if he did end up in jail, at least he could laugh at his stupidity that he got caught. It's the third time I listened to this and every time I laughed when I heard that. And that's exact those qualities I want for my partner or my kids. I think I learn to laugh at myself after I came here and learn how to love myself, to take care of myself. It's so important but nobody taught me how to do that. A bit too tired to express what exactly I mean just like today when I talked in English, I couldn't express myself well due to not enough practice and that's why I try to write my blog in both Chinese and English. Otherwise, I have not many chances to practice my English. Sad but true.
Since this i believe is a program a friend told me to listen to, that's why I wrote the message on his wall on facebook to say that I like this I believe a lot. thanks a lot. so what do you believe? photography? He's a photographer and that's why I said so and I don't really think there's anything inappropriate in that message but he deleted it with some other messages I left before. However, all his other friends' messages are still there. I think I mention this once but I guess it really hurts my feelings a lot and that's why I have to say it again and again trying to get rid of the negative feelings. He's the first person who made me feel like I wanted to have a baby just like him. Before, I didn't want to have a baby and never thought I would want to raise a child one day. He has some qualities I really appreciate and in fact he helped me a few times when I was really down. I couldn't think of a reason why he wanted to do that. Well, what I said is always silly but it didn't seem to bother him before. From what I know about him, he's not that kind of person who will deliberately delete my messages. Perhaps he doesn't want people to see them because they are too silly? Or his girlfriend doesn't like the messages and ask him to delete them all?
Anyways, there's nothing I can do about that. We all have rights to do whatever we like to do even though it might hurt people sometimes or we don't really think other people will get hurt but in fact they do a lot of time. My tears fell right away when I found that out and I got so upset because I still like him, I guess. Not I love him but I guess after all these times, he's quite an important friend to me. In fact, my first reaction was angry and I sent him a message, not on his wall(if i leave a message on the wall, everybody can see it ) but a private one to say that if I am not welcome, I won't contact anymore. Not surprised that he didn't reply. Today, I thought of this: I should leave a message saying I love you forever and a day, just to annoy him, ha ha. It doesn't matter it seems like how well we know someone, they always do things which surprise us or make us mad or hurt us. The best way I learned how to deal with things like this is not to deal with head-ons and try to put myself on others' shoes and most important way is not to look at it too seriously, to laugh at it if I can. Most of the time, I can easily deal with anything with these three principles so now when I see someone who is very angry, I feel sorry for them. Does this make sense? Would like to explain a bit more but too tired to write anymore since I am actually revising this but added a lot more on it. It just became a very very long entry. When I am in the right mood, I can keep writing forever with all those thoughts come to my mind.
Well, it's nothing really serious but I guess sometimes I guess too serious. I thought about asking him why he did so but I don't think I will like the answer anyway so I just didn't when I saw him on the msn. Don't deal with it sometimes it's the best policy and I guess I still care about it too much and that's why I write so many times trying to get rid of it. I cannot change what he did or how he thinks but I can change the way I view it . It's nothing serious and in fact, which means he cares that much to delete all those messages. Positive thinking, I am trying to convince myself by writing this down.
It's funny that I had a very good day but when I sit down to write I still wrote a lot of unpleasant things. Interesting.
So what do I believe in? Myself. I believe that I have the power to do every possible things I want to do in my life, live the way I want even though it can be extremely difficult. I cannot change what others think or do things in the way I don't appreciate but I can try to talk to them, exchange my ideas and when every effort fails, I still can change how I view things. I believe the environment parents provide their children is the main reason to form the children's personality. No one is born evil. The way kids are raised and the environment they live pretty much decide what kind of person they will be when they grow up. I believe people are more productive when they do things they enjoy. Can't think of anything else now but I am sure I will have a lot to add on.
Too many things, too little time. I need to read a bit more so I can write my assignments. Sometimes I just enjoy doing things I like so much that I lost track of time and I ignore a lot of things. Last night, I cooked and baked from 6.30 to 11 pm and my legs were sore and I was so tired because I only stopped 10 or 15 minutes to have dinner. Not sure if that's the reason that sometimes I don't want myself to do things I really enjoy doing. Anyway, time to catch up a bit studies.
Of course I only read for 10 minutes and I came back to edit this for and add a lot more for another 30 minutes. Sigh. I think I spent most of the time being Australia cooking, baking and writing things on my blog! Well done! They are probably all the skills I need to learn to live a very happy life.
This is a busy weekend. On Friday night, I went on my blind date and we had dinner in a restaurant called summit restaurant which is located on the 47th floor of Sydney Tower and it's a rotating restaurant. It's quite nice to see the night views of Sydney and for the first time, I had a bit better understanding of where some significant spots are. The food was nice and we had a good talk but when he tried to make his move when we took a walk after dinner, it spoiled the whole night. Well, men often say that we should make friends first but they always want more.
Saturday was the open day of my university which means that students who are interested in studying at my school can come to find out more information so there are some booths set up and to attract people to come and to entertain the kids perhaps, there's a "Macquarie Express", a trackless train like you see in some amusement park to take people around. It's really funny. Too bad I didn't bring my camera. And there's Indian dance which was really nice. One thing surprised me is that they even have a camel for kids to ride on and some sheep and ducks. And people are lining up to get hot dogs and there's an ice cream car. It's really a fair. There's the ad on the newspaper too!
Today it's my classmate's house warming party and that's why last night I spent three hours to make some brownies and rosemary twist. They are really yummy and today I ate so much, started from pasta salad, coke chicken, dumplings, pineapple cake, brownies, rosemary twist, cheese and crackers, fruit and drink wine, champagne, cranberry juice, green tea, coffee, and sparkling water. I can't believe that I ate so much and drank so much in a few hours but we just chatting and eating for the whole afternoon. It's really nice and relaxing.
My classmate is Taiwanese and his flatmate is Australian so most of their guests are Australian except me and another classmate. We didn't get involved in the talk with others because basically three of us were chatting in Chinese most of the time. In fact, I really would like to talk to someone else and get to know a bit more about Australia; however, in that situation, it will be odd if I left my friends and talked to someone else. Well, I got a chance towards the end of the party when most people went home, there were only a few of us there and we started to talk about teaching, studying and politics in Australia. And I had a very interesting talk and learned a lot from talking to them, much more than what I learned from the books! I realized that I like to engage with people talking about something I am interested in, something a bit more serious and learn from the talk. When I say learn, it simply means something new, how others view the world. It's fascinating! And suddenly, it becomes crystal clear why I enjoy talking with men more than women most of the time because I like most of the topics they enjoy talking, well, except sports. And I am not interested in fashion, celebrities or gossip that much. Also, I don't make up so the talks about cosmetics really bore me. I don't mind talking gossip or non-sense but from time to time, I want to have a intellectual talk with people who I can communicate with and I found it very difficult to find in Australia. Most of my friends and classmates are from China or Taiwan and I don't find them interested in serious topics and when we do talk about things like that, most people insisted on their views and if you don't agree with them then you should be ready for an argument. Strange it is but very true. I think I understood more why I wanted to come to Australia and how it failed my expectation more. In fact, the best thing I gained from living in Australia is that I got to know myself much much better from depression because I talked to the doctors about how I feel, try to figure out what and why caused my depression. Instead of "you think too much," "don't think too much, you just have too much free time", I gained a lot of support and learn to know myself better and love myself more and have the strength to deal with things when they go wrong.
The best thing about Australia is that you have a lot of freedom to do whatever you want and a lot of space to free yourself. The experience of getting so depressed was awful but I benefited so much from it. It's actually quite nice to discover a bit of myself every day(sometime it can get quite difficult) from interacting with people or just doing things on my own.
Well, I am pretty beat now even though I still had a lot to say. Well, last thing is that when I listened to NPR's this I believe, I was so touched and that's when I asked myself what I believe and I came to the conclusion above. A woman who works in Rwanda to help those refugees talks about what qualities she wants for her newborn baby. First is honesty, no surprise. In fact, I would put that in the first place too. The second one is care for others because if a person cares for others then their friend will care for them and someone who are loved is more likely to love themselves. Very nice, right? I had never thought in that way but I totally agree what she says. But the third one is a difficult choice. And in the end she decided that is the ability to laugh at self. She said that with the first two qualities, it will reduce the chance for her child end up in jail but with the third quality, even if he did end up in jail, at least he could laugh at his stupidity that he got caught. It's the third time I listened to this and every time I laughed when I heard that. And that's exact those qualities I want for my partner or my kids. I think I learn to laugh at myself after I came here and learn how to love myself, to take care of myself. It's so important but nobody taught me how to do that. A bit too tired to express what exactly I mean just like today when I talked in English, I couldn't express myself well due to not enough practice and that's why I try to write my blog in both Chinese and English. Otherwise, I have not many chances to practice my English. Sad but true.
Since this i believe is a program a friend told me to listen to, that's why I wrote the message on his wall on facebook to say that I like this I believe a lot. thanks a lot. so what do you believe? photography? He's a photographer and that's why I said so and I don't really think there's anything inappropriate in that message but he deleted it with some other messages I left before. However, all his other friends' messages are still there. I think I mention this once but I guess it really hurts my feelings a lot and that's why I have to say it again and again trying to get rid of the negative feelings. He's the first person who made me feel like I wanted to have a baby just like him. Before, I didn't want to have a baby and never thought I would want to raise a child one day. He has some qualities I really appreciate and in fact he helped me a few times when I was really down. I couldn't think of a reason why he wanted to do that. Well, what I said is always silly but it didn't seem to bother him before. From what I know about him, he's not that kind of person who will deliberately delete my messages. Perhaps he doesn't want people to see them because they are too silly? Or his girlfriend doesn't like the messages and ask him to delete them all?
Anyways, there's nothing I can do about that. We all have rights to do whatever we like to do even though it might hurt people sometimes or we don't really think other people will get hurt but in fact they do a lot of time. My tears fell right away when I found that out and I got so upset because I still like him, I guess. Not I love him but I guess after all these times, he's quite an important friend to me. In fact, my first reaction was angry and I sent him a message, not on his wall(if i leave a message on the wall, everybody can see it ) but a private one to say that if I am not welcome, I won't contact anymore. Not surprised that he didn't reply. Today, I thought of this: I should leave a message saying I love you forever and a day, just to annoy him, ha ha. It doesn't matter it seems like how well we know someone, they always do things which surprise us or make us mad or hurt us. The best way I learned how to deal with things like this is not to deal with head-ons and try to put myself on others' shoes and most important way is not to look at it too seriously, to laugh at it if I can. Most of the time, I can easily deal with anything with these three principles so now when I see someone who is very angry, I feel sorry for them. Does this make sense? Would like to explain a bit more but too tired to write anymore since I am actually revising this but added a lot more on it. It just became a very very long entry. When I am in the right mood, I can keep writing forever with all those thoughts come to my mind.
Well, it's nothing really serious but I guess sometimes I guess too serious. I thought about asking him why he did so but I don't think I will like the answer anyway so I just didn't when I saw him on the msn. Don't deal with it sometimes it's the best policy and I guess I still care about it too much and that's why I write so many times trying to get rid of it. I cannot change what he did or how he thinks but I can change the way I view it . It's nothing serious and in fact, which means he cares that much to delete all those messages. Positive thinking, I am trying to convince myself by writing this down.
It's funny that I had a very good day but when I sit down to write I still wrote a lot of unpleasant things. Interesting.
So what do I believe in? Myself. I believe that I have the power to do every possible things I want to do in my life, live the way I want even though it can be extremely difficult. I cannot change what others think or do things in the way I don't appreciate but I can try to talk to them, exchange my ideas and when every effort fails, I still can change how I view things. I believe the environment parents provide their children is the main reason to form the children's personality. No one is born evil. The way kids are raised and the environment they live pretty much decide what kind of person they will be when they grow up. I believe people are more productive when they do things they enjoy. Can't think of anything else now but I am sure I will have a lot to add on.
Too many things, too little time. I need to read a bit more so I can write my assignments. Sometimes I just enjoy doing things I like so much that I lost track of time and I ignore a lot of things. Last night, I cooked and baked from 6.30 to 11 pm and my legs were sore and I was so tired because I only stopped 10 or 15 minutes to have dinner. Not sure if that's the reason that sometimes I don't want myself to do things I really enjoy doing. Anyway, time to catch up a bit studies.
Of course I only read for 10 minutes and I came back to edit this for and add a lot more for another 30 minutes. Sigh. I think I spent most of the time being Australia cooking, baking and writing things on my blog! Well done! They are probably all the skills I need to learn to live a very happy life.
全站熱搜
留言列表
