I was so sleepy right after I had dinner because I ate too much. But it was too early, just around 7.30 pm so I just lay on my bed, reading Haruki Murakami's book and almost fell asleep. I remembered in other books of his, he said that he didn't really want to write that column but was not able to refused so he just had to do that for a few years. There are three books in total. Not sure if I will buy the rest because I have to say the one I just read is probably the worst I have read in all his books. I really believe that people just can't really do things well if they are forced to do so or if they feel they have to do. It's quite obvious sometimes. I remember once I read a picture book from a famous Taiwanese cartoonist Jimmy and I really wondered why he did that badly because some other books I read were all quite good. Then in the end, I read his note saying something like he didn't really want to do this book but was requested to do so. Sigh. I think we are all capable of doing things we don't like to do but we just won't do as well as things we enjoy doing.
目前分類：diary (105)
- Aug 04 Mon 2008 01:13
sleepless in taipei
- Jul 18 Fri 2008 23:28
talking nonsense
I forgot that I need to practice my English so I should write in English today so now I am writing another one since I just can't sleep. Well, I had a two hours nap in the afternoon and I don't have to get up at 6.30 am tomorrow so I guess I can stay up a bit.
- Jul 12 Sat 2008 23:03
tomorrow is another day
i became to lazy to write in english and that's probably one of the reasons why my english got worse and worse. well, guess i'll have to start from here otherwise i feel really sorry for my students since now i am back to teaching again.
- Jul 02 Wed 2008 12:00
happiness is everywhere
it's so easy to feel happy, just open my eyes, look around and see the wonderful people and things around me. life is simple and easy but it's also complicated and difficult. i have no answers but try to survive. perhaps it's time for me to set some realistic goals and just go for them without being skeptical and cynical. just do it.
- Jun 17 Tue 2008 16:27
get well soon
The first day I had good weather then it became cloudy. Today I went on the boat to the reef, guess what? It rained! Well, this is life. I saw some beautiful carols and many fish plus a turtle and a shark. It's a bit scary because we were on the glass boat when we saw the shark. It's a samll one but still, it's not too far away from where we did snorkeling and diving.
- Jun 15 Sun 2008 22:28
in Cairns
I haven't written in English for a while but I have to since I am in Cairns using a public computer.
- Feb 27 Wed 2008 23:45
sinus headache
Feel like crying. My nose allergy is killing me with the weather like this, the sinus headache is just there and wouldn't go away. So tired and so annoying. My life is a bit chaotic again like today's lecture and I have bad temper, no patience and rude again. I don't like myself being like this and have to find a way to get things under control. What can I do?
- Jan 05 Sat 2008 08:56
talking a lot to myself again
So many things I have to do but I am not doing much. Well, that’s what I told myself and of course I have been doing things. Have to be very careful with my own thoughts and try not to fall into the traps again.
- Dec 20 Thu 2007 08:59
clinically depressed
Acceptance is the first step of healing. I didn't think it's too difficult to accept the truth that I was depressed but it's far difficult than I thought, especially when I felt a bit better. And believe it or not, the most difficult part is the opinions from other people.
- Dec 17 Mon 2007 23:34
blame it on the name
cannot sleep. another strange day. well, it's not really that bad but strange in a way i am not sure if i understand it.
- Dec 17 Mon 2007 00:10
annoying
One of my biggest problems is that I am so moody. Yesterday I was all positive and happy now I am down and exhausted. Couldn't fall asleep last night until late and was up a few times so I didn't get up until noon today. And of course it did not fit the plan I have for today and that's the first thing to get me down. Besides, I am having my period and really do not feel like doing anything or going anywhere
- Dec 17 Mon 2007 00:08
exhausted
This is how frustrating life can be: I cannot find the draft I wrote earlier. Anyway, not that I care.
- Dec 06 Thu 2007 23:34
a depressing day
It's almost 2 am and I am anxious and sleepless. What a day!
- Nov 17 Sat 2007 20:33
suicidal thoughts
have to start taking medicine again. don't really want to but feel like i have no choice.
- Nov 17 Sat 2007 04:51
If only I could disappear
It's 7.30 in the morning. My eyes are swollen and sore but I just can't sleep. I tried but then I started to think about how to disappear but knowing too well that it was only a wish so I started to think about something a bit more realistic. The conclusion I had was not nice at all. The easiest way I can do is to get very drunk then find a sharp knife. And it's not that easy. It must hurt a lot then I will dirty the carpet and cause so much inconvenience. Then I probably should go out instead of doing that in the house. Of course, I am not going to that but this thought is still too depressing and I had to get out of bed so I won't keep thinking.
- Nov 11 Sun 2007 21:00
It has been tough, but I have no regrets.
This is the headlines of a news article in Sydney Morning Herald today about a sport star. I didn't really read the article but the headlines stayed in my mind. Well, it's been really tough for me staying in Australia. I am not used to living alone and do everything on my own. Through my life, I only lived in the dorm for the last semester of my university and it was only three or four days a week. When I traveled abroad, normally I started to feel homesick after two or three weeks. Besides, I am a quite social person and I enjoy having interactions with people so much and that's why I like teaching a lot. I think I have the need to talk to people. Here, I can count how many sentences I speak every day and how many people I talk to in a week. Mostly, the clerks in the gym or in the shops. As the classes finished last week, I don't even have classmates(though we do not talk much) or teachers to talk to. Not sure what's wrong. Maybe I am simply not in the right place not with the right people so it is not easy for me to make friends. Regrets? Not necessary because life is like this and there's no coming back.
- Nov 01 Thu 2007 22:23
sleepy
So sleepy but still writing here. Well, just feel like writing something. I just printed the 136 pages of all the entities I wrote here. It's like a little book to tell the past two years of my life. It's a bit weird.
- Oct 23 Tue 2007 21:22
The Cather in the Rye
Not sure if I am depressed because I am reading a depressing book or reading the book depressed me. When he said that he wished he was dead, I kind of have the same feeling, not that I really mean it.
- Oct 22 Mon 2007 20:54
blue Monday
In such a bad mood that I don't know what to write but know too well that if I don't write then I will definitely feel even worse.
- Oct 17 Wed 2007 00:19
What's wrong with me?
It's almost 2 in the morning but I have not started to read the three chapters I planned to read. And I ate some more crackers because I was hungry. Sigh. I lost 1 kilogram within two weeks but I think I just got it back again this week. I want to lose at least 5 kilograms. It's a long journey to go.
